Friday, April 12, 2002
A swiped “Kids Say…“
A swiped “Kids Say…“ since my kids have been all too normal, lately.
“neurotic…? we have that at gramma’s house!“
Wednesday, February 27, 2002
Everyone Pees
Devon, in a discussion with his younger brother over the fine art of urinating:
“Everyone has peed at least once. I think even George Washington.“
Monday, February 11, 2002
Do You Believe in Magic?
Sebastian:
“I was growing inside you and when I came out, I took a big breath of magic that was green that tasted like an antidote after it tasted like poison. Now I have magic inside me that helps me fix things.“
Saturday, January 26, 2002
Cramps
Devon was kicking the back of Sebastian’s seat while we were riding in the van. Sebastian remarked, “Stop it! Leave me alone, Devon! I have cramps!“ Devon gave Sebastian a sour look and explained, “Sebastian, boys don’t get cramps, only mommies when they don’t want the daddies to touch them.“ D’oh!
Saturday, December 29, 2001
Pizza Blood
Gideon, age four: Can we order that bread? That long bread that you dip in pizza blood?
Sunday, December 23, 2001
Anthrax
We took Devon in to the pediatrician to check on a weird rash he had on his face. The doctor thought it might be poison oak, but then suggested that the rash could have been caused by almost anything and was simply irritated by a sort of bacterial infection. In any case, when he was nearly finished explaining what he thought was wrong and how to treat it, Sebastian piped up with, “It could be Antrhax,“ in a very grown-up and mature voice. The doctor stared at him for a moment as Dan and I burst out laughing, and then the doctor, stifling his own laughter, replied in as much of a solomn voice as he could muster, “Oh no. I promise you. That is not Anthrax.“ Then the doc turned to us and asked in shock, “He’s really only four?“
Heh. Yes. Really.
Monday, December 17, 2001
Dead Ant Cookies
Yet another “Sebastian Moment”... at a recent holiday party, someone was kind enough to give us home made cookies. Upon returning home, I offered one of the cookies to each of the kids. From the other room I heard a half-whispered, “Devon? Did you eat your cookie? I"m not eating mine, it tastes like it has dead ants in it.“
Sunday, November 18, 2001
Ouch.
Sebastian bumped his head a couple of weeks ago. When Dan asked if he was alright Sebastian replied, “I’m ok. Pain is just weakness leaving the body.“
Friday, November 02, 2001
Freaking God
One I forgot to post last week.
Last weekend Dan and I were busy cleaning the house. Sebastian and Devon were constantly pestering us with one trivial argument or request after another. Finally, Dan said, “Do YOU guys want to be the grownups and let US be the kids?“ Sebastian and Devon were thrilled with the prospect. “Then we can say anything we want!“ Devon exclaimed with delight. Sebastian piped up with, “Yeah, even bad words like ‘freaking God.‘“
Don’t Freak, Mom
I gave the boys each a pack of sugarless gum to pack in their “for the car” bags for a road trip we’ll soon be taking. They each disappeared to pack their backpacks for the trip and when I went to peek in on them to see how they were doing, (remember, I AM a mother, and I DO realize the dangers of giving two little boys gum) I wasn’t at all surprised to see wrappers all over their floor. Before I could even grown concerned or open my mouth to comment, Sebastian (age FOUR people!!) pipes up with, “Don’t freak about the wrappers, Mom. It’s space saving to put the gum in the bag without them.“ I’m still scraping my jaw off the floor with that one.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Tales of a Tattle Tale
Tales of a Tattle Tale:
Every night after the boys go to bed, Jenica (now nine months old) and I spend some time alone playing. Tonight while we were playing, she kept looking behind me and grinning from ear to ear. I’d turn around to see what exactly she was smiling about, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out what she found so amusing. Finally, she stretched out her index finger to point and exclaim, “DEVON!“ Sure enough, Devon was peeking around the corner at her, scared to get caught by me, but unable to resist the grins of his sister in their private little game.
Friday, October 26, 2001
There is no “Y” in Excuse
“I hate practicing spelling, Mommy!“ Devon griped today as I hovered over him trying to help him understand that there is no “Y” in the word “excuse”. “Real people don’t know how to spell,“ Devon insisted. “They use spellcheckers.“
“Look,“ I replied, my frustration level growing, “I don’t want to hear another excuse out of you. You have to learn these, period.“ Devon brightened, “You used my spelling word in a sentence, Mom!“ Gaaaaaahhh… talk about the King of Stalling.
Tuesday, October 23, 2001
George Bush Money
Sebastian came running in today holding something in his hand screaming, “MOMMY! MOMMY! I got George Bush money! MOMMY! I got George Bush money!!!“ Heh… it was a quarter. I guess he got his presidents confused. 
Monday, October 15, 2001
Heather’s Guest Entry
Another guest entry, which is good, since I’ve been slacking. 
Heather Miller sent these submissions:
Ever since Michael’s Papa Tex passed away he has beleived that Papa was now up in the stars and talks to or about him everyonce in awhile. Well, The other day, Michael and I were on our way somewhere in the car when Michael says “Mom, it’s a News Flash! I heard it on the news!“ I asked “What did you hear Michael?“ Michael says “Papa Tex moved to a new Star!“
Tonight leaving a family party 4 year old Michael, 21 month old CJ, Grandma Frankee, and I were walking to the Car. Grandma Frankee was walking in the street. CJ says “Grandma, atch out or ars oming” in a sing song voice. (watch out for cars coming) SO SWEET!
Tuesday, October 09, 2001
Erica’s Guest Entry
Ooh, I have two guest entries from Erica Meyer, (who prefers not to have a link thank-you-very-much *grin*.) I loved this first one, cos I could *so* relate to it, having two boys myself.
Tristan, my 5 year old, came running into the house from outside. His 3 year old sister, Shannon, was in the bathroom washing her hands. As he breezed past her, whipping his pants down, he said, “I have to go potty Shannon. My penis tickled.“
While pregnant with my third baby, I took my daughter with me to my midwife appointment. After all the usual questions, it came time for the pelvic exam and pap smear. As I got into those wonderful paper outfits, Shannon looked at me and said “Mommy’s wearing a napkin!“ Perfect description if you ask me.
((Thanks, Erica!!))
Monday, October 08, 2001
It Booped
I was typing away at my keyboard when the extremely loud and obnoxious timer went off to proclaim that dinner was done cooking. From the living room, Devon called out, “It beeped.“ Sebastian followed seconds after with, “Mommy! It beeped!“ Devon again exclaimed, “It beeped!“ And finally Jenica, now eight-months-old, chimed in with, “Mama! BOOPT” No joke. Heheh.
So MANY Options
“Mommy, what are my options for dinner tonight?“ Sebastian, my wonderful and often precocious four-year-old asked. Doing my best to remain calm and brace myself for whatever tantrum was to follow, I responded, “Take it or leave it?“ He grinned and said, “I can deal with that. I think I’ll take it.“ He’s getting to be so grown up. Heh.
Sunday, September 23, 2001
Principle of the US
“Mommy, I want to be the Principal of the United States for Halloween.“
Devon, age 7
Wednesday, August 22, 2001
Home on the Range
On our most recent trip to the grocery store, Devon said, “I wish we could live where the cowboys lived.“ “We do, Devon. Cowboys used to live here in California.“ Devon replied quite solomnly, “Oh yeah. I remember when they used to live here.“
Still Evil?
Josh: Hey Sebastian? Does your hand still smell evil?
Sebastian: (Sniffs his hand.) MMmm… yeah. A little. It smells like you, Josh.
